Hello! Yeah, this is me. I have returned to this post to post another episode of my doings...
May, especially the first half, has been quite busy for me this year! Used to the more quiet life, more laid-back style, I have been finding myself doing things I've never done before in my life! I've been stretching and growing in my life, which is a good thing, but it can be almost painful at times, if you know what I mean.
To kick things off, on May 1st, I caught my first ever plane to Jacksonville, Florida, to catch my first ever boat for a 5 day cruise to the Bahamas! WOW! I think someone may be putting me up to this, cuz I've never done anything like this before! :-) She's awesome, I know! She's shown this Amish boy so many things it's not even funny! She dares to be different and different is good. It keeps things from being the same old same old. Sometimes I feel like an inflatable doll and she's the air I breathe.
The plane ride wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, to be honest, though there were a few moments I wasn't too crazy about. We did get there, which I was proud of, and we were immediately shuttled, by bus, to the boat. That was awesome too! We were on the Carnival Fascination for 5 days, getting off at Half Moon Cay and it's nice blue waters, then again in Nassau, going across the bridge to The Lost City of Atlantis. What an experience! I know that I may never ever in my life go there again, but to be able to say that I have is just so incredible! The pictures I've posted on Facebook don't do it ANY justice at all. You might as well not even look at them. I look at some of them now and wonder why I even took the picture. It's that far removed from what it really looks and feels like in person. But I AM proud to be able to say that those pictures that look like postcards were taken with MY camera! The best parts of the whole thing will always be in my memory, shared only with the one that I love!
I tried for the most part to stay out of my own way and just let myself enjoy the moment, the experience, and I did have a really good time. I think that if or when we go again, we'll know what to expect and may be able to get more out of it. But I still miss E17. The best part of the whole experience is that we made a lot of memories together. Not just regular, ordinary memories, but we shared something special, someplace far away. We have inside references, or jokes if you will, that we can bring up and we know what we're talking about, but nobody else has a clue! Like "Shake it!" or "Clint Estwood".
But all good things must come to an end- otherwise you'd have too much too much of a good thing- and we had to get off the boat. By the time our floor was called to disembark, there was cargo being loaded up, getting ready for the next load of people to hit the open seas again! That boat doesn't get any rest at all!
The second flight I ever took I got through as well, obviously, as I am here to write about it now, but it didn't help any to get me warmed up toward a third. The guy next to me said that that was the smoothest ride you can ask for- one of the best he's been on. I wouldn't have wanted it a bit rougher than it was!!! I was SO relieved when we finally touched down in Philly! ( the only touchdown I care for Philly to ever have, actually)
After that came our wedding. We had one day in between to get rested up, get ready and do whatever else we had to do. Good thing for us, we had some wonderful people here to get the place ready for the occasion while we were still on the water. I don't want to think about where we'd be without those awesome people in our lives.
The wedding was GREAT! We wanted a small wedding, which it was. We could have done without the wind. I thank everyone that was there for coming, and I apologize if I didn't invite you. Realize, it was MAYhem. At the wedding, my girlfriend ran off with her boyfriend, so I walked my wife back to the reception and we took our seat at the head table. I don't do crowds very well at all, but I surprised myself at how good I handled the ceremony. It helped that it was only her and I up there, alone in our own little world. I repeated those vows, and I meant them. I didn't rush into marriage because its not something to be taken lightly. I've seen so many people say they will and then later decide they won't. Thats not me. There HAS to be something left in this world worth saving, sacred enough to hang onto, and this should be it. I will never be alone again- neither will she. I will always have someone to talk to, to cry to, to laugh with and love with all my heart. And I will be right here for her to have the same things. She deserves all of these things and so much more, and I have the honor of being the one that is able to try and bring it to her. I will do my best to do just that.
I didn't know exactly what I was supposed to be doing, so it just kinda happened, you know.After the ceremony I just found myself talking to different people and doing different things- I guess there really is no wrong way? The people started leaving after a while, and then the party ended up indoors. We had a good time. I remember doing my part in helping to empty the keg- there were 6 gallons left in that thing the next morning! Some people spent the night because they were just having too much fun for them to leave!
The last of the MAYhem events was the very next weekend when my new wife took me to the races for my birthday! I am now 36 years OLD! It had been a long time since I'd gone to one, and she'd never been to one, so it was exciting, for me anyway. She isn't a real diehard fan to begin with, and I wasn't sure if the live experience would make it or break it for her. The friday night before the race we even went to Trackside Live and saw my favorite driver up close and personal! It was great! It was an awesome birthday present, even though my driver had trouble and had a pretty bad finish.
After the race, not only did I have THAT sunburn to deal with, I still had the Bahama Burn to take care of!
That was the first half the month- MAYhem. The rest of the month we needed to slow things back down and get back to normal. That included things at work that had gotten away from us while we were gone, and the normal newly married stuff that had to be done. I am glad that May is over with, despite all the grand old times we had. We're boring people, we say, and it is time to let the dust settle and let us get on with our lives!!
Hopefully in the month to come I can get back to my blog and get something regular going with my poems and such. Who knows, maybe we're not that boring a people after all and there'll be stuff to tell you about as well!
Until then, thats all for now!
See ya later, folks!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Perfect Center Poem Book Introduction and Poem
Today's posting is of my 2002- 2006 poem book entitled Perfect Center. This is the last poem book that I've put together. What I am posting first is the Intro, or the forward of the book itself. I kinda like it, and I'm hoping that you do too.
Nelson Coblentz
Perfect Center
Thank you, first and foremost, for somehow getting a hold of a copy of Perfect Center. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day, your busy world, to spend a little of it with me, in my world. My hope is that you will like what you are about to read, and that you'll have that irresistable urge to share it with the people that matter to you, in and around your life.
If you remember correctly- if you remember at all, this book is pretty long overdue. It was supposed to be released in January 2007, as I'd posted on Myspace and everything. Well, it is now October 2007, and it is just now coming out. i hope it's worth the wait, if by chance you happened to be waiting.
This book is about life, in a sense- these poems reflecting different times of MY life, and the different feelings and emotions that went along with them. Life has its ups and downs, its highs and lows, where some days you can't tell the top from the bottom, or one side from the other. But you always come back to center. YOUR perfect center. Maybe your perfect center isn't perfectly center at all. Maybe it IS a bit high and to the right. But that's where you're at your best; thats where you need to be. Despite all our differences, we can relate to each other more than we care to admit. We all go through the same things, even if it's at different times, maybe even in different ways. we've all had our hearts broken, and we've all ended up finding something later on that made it all worth it. There is good to be gotten from bad things. If you can't find them, either you're not looking hard enough or you're not supposed to see it yet. But everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is, or even agree with it.
Lets imagine, for a second, that the world as we know it is nothing more than a jigsaw puzzle on God's kitchen table. Still in the process of being done, He worls on it from this angle, from that angle, then yet from another, working on a completely set of colors. It doesn't look like anything yet, but the two and three piece clusters of puzzle pieces He knows will eventually fit somewhere in the big picture- The finished puzzle. He can work on it for days, and all of a sudden there's one magic piece that connects one cluster to another. Wow! Now it's starting to look like something! That's the way life is sometimes. You're nothing but a puzzled piece floating around in a puzzle of who even knows how many pieces. But if you hang in there, some day you will know what you did it all for. Your purpose will be revealed to you, and your usefulness will be evident to everyone around you. If you think that you, being only one piece of the puzzle are not important, try putting a puzzle together that has all BUT that last piece. That missing piece will stare out at you like a green thumb in a parking lot! We all need each other whether we know it or not, and we all need more of each other than we can really give. Sometimes we leave people alone in their lives, not realizing how much they see that we're not there. All they need is an indication that they matter to you. A lot of times it would make someone's day- and probably yours too.
Personally, I think that we all spend so much time worrying about what's wrong with us and spend so much time trying to fix it, that we're ruining that big picture- that greater plan- by not being what we're supposed to be in the first place. We were all sent here to be a part of that puzzle in the end, and we're changing so much of ourselves that we may not even fit where we're supposed to be fitting into. We succumb to people every day, telling us to do this, and do that, when inside we know that we know better. What's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander!
For those of you who do not know me, I have been writing poetry for many years. For those of you who DO know me, I have been writing poetry for many years. This is not my first book of poems. I have been writing since 1992, in English class. Some teacher thought she was being smart, and went and created a monster out of me! I do want to share this book with you, however, even if you never read the other ones. This one is relatively small- it's after the Myspace invasion, and I just got the notion that I should actually get more people to read it! You can have as many lights on in the house as you want, but as long as you have dark curtains on the windows, the world outside can't see any of it, and none of it matters. I want to share my words with you, my thoughts and feelings, maybe even an opinion or two every now and then, and get you to help me share the burden of their existence.
I'm hoping that as I share these with you, that each set of eyes that read these words can act as a set of fingernails scratching some hard to reach itch somewhere that had been there for so long that I came to not even realize it was there anymore. My last book of poems, before this one, is Words, done in 2001. Before that, I have one for almost every year, though some are doubled up. I will get you a complete listing later, in case you'd like to read some of them as well. Covering from 2002 through 2006, this book captures more than a single book alone normally would, encompassing more, different chapters in my life. The poems in Perfect Center were written with much more feeling than the earlier books, and as you'll see, those feelings vary from piece to piece, from one time frame tot he next. As I was compiling these different pieces, I got to reflect on each one of them, letting them take me back there, in one way or another, the good times and the bad. These poems, no matter the content, all helped to get me where I am today. Without all of them, together, I would be a different person, even if just slightly off from where I am today.
I hope you enjoy reading them.
Sincerely,
Nelson Coblentz
And now I will post the Table Of Contents- the last one to introduce:
2002- 2003 poems:
1. When He Puts My Mind To It
2. Company's Coming
3. When?
4. First Date
5. Yesterday's Tomorrow (Today)
6. If Love Is The Answer
7. What Would It Be?
8. Angel Dust
9. She Needed Love
10. List Of Safe Questions
11. I Just Hope You Can Wait That Long
12. My Inspiration
13. The Looking Glass
14. My Secret Weapon
15. If I Could've Not Loved Her (The Way She Didn't Love Me)
16. A Day In The Life
17. How Often Does It Happen?
18. Tender Tears
19. Almost Sure
20. I Am Not You
2004- 2006 poems:
21. Where I Always Want To Be
22. Now I Know Who
23. You Would Have To Push Me Away
24. Let Me Stay
25. This And That
26. 20/20 Vision
27. When I Grow Up (I Want To Be A Kid Again)
28. My Beautiful Bride To Be
29. Loving Each Other
30. The Woman In My Life
31. When I Make Love To You
32. One Day (Never Soon Enough)
33. My Precious Love
34. My Reality
35. It Just Ain't Fair
36. A Part Of Me
37. I Have Nothing To Lose (I Already Lost Her)
38. Ex's Lament
39. I'll Cry
40. Everything You Are
41. My Universe
42. My Hunger
43. Take Me To The Bottle
And there it is! The last table of contents that I have to post on here! Now I just get to pick a poem and the story behind it, and share it with you guys, my followers, or whoever happened to stumble upon it. Whoever you are, I hope you like them, though not enough to steal them.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
2001 Poem Book Introduction and poem
Hello, hello! I'm back! I don't know where I always get off too, I'm just glad I keep finding my way back! We are now up to 2001 in the poem book introductions, and here is the poem from that book. It is entitled:
Though there are others older than me that have not yet gotten to where I am, I need not let that encourage me- I can still slip up.
I must live my life the best way that I can and make it the way that I would like it to be.
No one else needs to deal with the consequences I accrue in this life, whether they be good or bad- they are mine. The bad ones I must oversome however possible, and the good ones I must gracefully accept; some even take credit for. Either way, I must 'fess up.
The only reason that I should be unhappy with my life is when I have done my best to do what I can and find out it was to no avail. Until then, I must keep trying; keep living my life the way I feel I need to- I must not give up!
Success is different to different people. Some may call me successful by looking at where they stand themselves. Others would look down on me and say that I've a long way to go. But, In MY life, success is for ME to define- and then ACHEIVE!!
I wrote this poem on July 11th, 2001, like the date above has noted. I have NO idea what happened on that day except that I wrote this poem, but I suppose I was in some kind of inspired, introspective mood that day, and wanted to write something to hopefully motivate myself along, or at least say that where I am is quite alright. Sometimes when you don't have someone telling you these things, you have to come up with them yourself. I know that life gets busy. Sometimes you don't even have time to blink, let alone be thinking about someone else and what MIGHT be going on in their life. Sometimes you're not the kind of person that comes forward with the right thing to say at just that right time. Bless the people that do, for they are really appreciated. I have a few of them in my life, and I appreciate what they do for me. Someday I want to be that person that can open myself up to someone else and offer them just the few words that they need to hear just then. It's not a lot, but yet it is. It can mean SO much more to the reciever than the teller, even when the receiver can't tell the teller just HOW much.
One good example that I have is commenting on these blogs. I just love getting comments from people, letting me know what they thought of my blog, how much they like it, and what it did for them. I just eat that up! Yet, on the other hand, I am not a very good commenter myself, even when I do really like a certain something that I've read in somebody's blog or something. Maybe it just takes getting there. I hope so. I don't want to just assume that people know how I feel, when they have no way of knowing without me telling them. I appreciate the people in my life so much, that are trying to pry me open and get me to come out, sharing what they think is so good, but what I'm just not so sure about.
I don't mean for this to sound arrogant or boastful or whatever, but it is very frustrating to sometimes feel like you have a whole toolbox full of wonderful tools right there in front of you- that you just don't know how to use cuz nobody has ever shown you how. Where IS my place in life? Is this it? Did I miss out on something years ago that I just can't get back anymore? Why do I feel like I'm destined for something greater, but don't seem to have the map to show me how to get there? I'm not trying to replace everything in the life that I know now- I'm getting ready to get married, and I wouldn't want to miss out on that-but I'm talking about the things around that that could be so much different- so much better, had someone been there for me when they should've been and shown me how to use what they could see that I had. In one way, yes, I AM lamenting- I AM feeling sorry for myself- and those who know me know why. For those who don't, I'm not just throwing an unjustified pity party for myself. I know that as an adult, it IS now up to me to make my life whatever it is to be now. I just wish that the other people in my class wouldn't have had so much of headstart.
It is important for the people who are in the position to do something to see in your children, or even other young children, what they have that they could do something with. Don't just assume that they know. As Patti mentions in her blog, Sam's teacher recognized what he had and entered him in a competition. He saw something in him and had a way of doing something for Sam that he may not have gotten any other way. That is the way things should be, I think, the older people looking out for the younger generation instead of just worrying about themselves. And I hope I can be in the position to do that myself one day. We all can use a hand-up in life- and some NEED that more than others. Someday I will find My Place In Life and be able to help others find theirs.
We are almost done with these pesky introductions, then we can just just get on with the poems and the stories behind them. I'm looking forward to that- kinda.
Here is the Table Of Contents for my 2001 Poem Book- Words:
1. Oh! (2000 leftover)
2. I'm Free
3. Wind Blowing At My Door
4. Somebody Else
5. One-Sided Love Affair
6. The Heaviest Heart
7. If You Ever Get To Thinking Like
8. The Operation
9. Too Special
10. There Is Nothing Like...
11. Words
12. It's Not Because
13. I Don't Ever Want To Stop
14. My Brand New Day
15. What Would You Say
16. What You Are To Me
17. Truth Is
18. Too Much
19. Heaven Sent
20. Another Muse
21. Today (Is The Day)
22. Stranger Man Than I
23. The Leading Man
24. Brand New Scene
25. I Still Adore You
26. One Of These Days
27. My Place In Life
28. Overnight Success
29. A Truer Love
30. Would You Love Me
31. I Would, But...
32. A Man Of Few (spoken) Words
33. It Must Be You
34. I Wish It Didn't Hurt
35. Maybe There's A Reason After All
36. Misery Loves Company
37. Balancing Emotions
38. Your Biggest Fan
39. For Who She Is
40. Neighbors
41. Millions Of Moments
42. Life And Death
43. ...But What If I Need You?
The End.
After this, there is only one more book to introduce- Perfect Center- which are my poems from 2002 to 2006- thats when I pretty much stopped writing poems and started writing in my notebooks. People that know me know about my notebooks- or should. It evolved into a black double attache case- whatever you want to call it- holding the current months book and the previous month. It went wherever I went. I affectionately (Maybe too much) called it my LIFE. (Look, I File Everything!) Things happen for a reason, go through a cycle, then just naturally drop off or stop altogether. i didn't force it- i didn't make it happen, but this January I really backed off on my writing and went about doing things differently. If I had done it on purpose, or forced it, it would have happened in June, as that is the anniversary of my June Book. Starting in 2006. So what I have now is a very informative and probably just as revealing 3 1/2 year block of notebooks, a notebook for each month, except on a few rare occasions. Why? Because I wanted to try and contain my brain. I figured If you can't beat em, join em. I wanted to document time and what happened in it. I did the best i could, but finally I gave up and decided that my best would have to be good enough. I couldn't write fast enough to get everything down before it left me! My hope, still, is that I got what was important, but if I did miss something, that one day it would come back to me. I keep saying you can't force a bright idea. It just sucks when you do have one and its gets away from you.
My Place In Life
Though others may have gotten more acheived in less time than I have, I need not let that discourage me- I can still catch up.
Though there are others older than me that have not yet gotten to where I am, I need not let that encourage me- I can still slip up.
I must live my life the best way that I can and make it the way that I would like it to be.
No one else needs to deal with the consequences I accrue in this life, whether they be good or bad- they are mine. The bad ones I must oversome however possible, and the good ones I must gracefully accept; some even take credit for. Either way, I must 'fess up.
The only reason that I should be unhappy with my life is when I have done my best to do what I can and find out it was to no avail. Until then, I must keep trying; keep living my life the way I feel I need to- I must not give up!
Success is different to different people. Some may call me successful by looking at where they stand themselves. Others would look down on me and say that I've a long way to go. But, In MY life, success is for ME to define- and then ACHEIVE!!
Nelson Coblentz
7/11/01
I wrote this poem on July 11th, 2001, like the date above has noted. I have NO idea what happened on that day except that I wrote this poem, but I suppose I was in some kind of inspired, introspective mood that day, and wanted to write something to hopefully motivate myself along, or at least say that where I am is quite alright. Sometimes when you don't have someone telling you these things, you have to come up with them yourself. I know that life gets busy. Sometimes you don't even have time to blink, let alone be thinking about someone else and what MIGHT be going on in their life. Sometimes you're not the kind of person that comes forward with the right thing to say at just that right time. Bless the people that do, for they are really appreciated. I have a few of them in my life, and I appreciate what they do for me. Someday I want to be that person that can open myself up to someone else and offer them just the few words that they need to hear just then. It's not a lot, but yet it is. It can mean SO much more to the reciever than the teller, even when the receiver can't tell the teller just HOW much.
One good example that I have is commenting on these blogs. I just love getting comments from people, letting me know what they thought of my blog, how much they like it, and what it did for them. I just eat that up! Yet, on the other hand, I am not a very good commenter myself, even when I do really like a certain something that I've read in somebody's blog or something. Maybe it just takes getting there. I hope so. I don't want to just assume that people know how I feel, when they have no way of knowing without me telling them. I appreciate the people in my life so much, that are trying to pry me open and get me to come out, sharing what they think is so good, but what I'm just not so sure about.
I don't mean for this to sound arrogant or boastful or whatever, but it is very frustrating to sometimes feel like you have a whole toolbox full of wonderful tools right there in front of you- that you just don't know how to use cuz nobody has ever shown you how. Where IS my place in life? Is this it? Did I miss out on something years ago that I just can't get back anymore? Why do I feel like I'm destined for something greater, but don't seem to have the map to show me how to get there? I'm not trying to replace everything in the life that I know now- I'm getting ready to get married, and I wouldn't want to miss out on that-but I'm talking about the things around that that could be so much different- so much better, had someone been there for me when they should've been and shown me how to use what they could see that I had. In one way, yes, I AM lamenting- I AM feeling sorry for myself- and those who know me know why. For those who don't, I'm not just throwing an unjustified pity party for myself. I know that as an adult, it IS now up to me to make my life whatever it is to be now. I just wish that the other people in my class wouldn't have had so much of headstart.
It is important for the people who are in the position to do something to see in your children, or even other young children, what they have that they could do something with. Don't just assume that they know. As Patti mentions in her blog, Sam's teacher recognized what he had and entered him in a competition. He saw something in him and had a way of doing something for Sam that he may not have gotten any other way. That is the way things should be, I think, the older people looking out for the younger generation instead of just worrying about themselves. And I hope I can be in the position to do that myself one day. We all can use a hand-up in life- and some NEED that more than others. Someday I will find My Place In Life and be able to help others find theirs.
We are almost done with these pesky introductions, then we can just just get on with the poems and the stories behind them. I'm looking forward to that- kinda.
Here is the Table Of Contents for my 2001 Poem Book- Words:
1. Oh! (2000 leftover)
2. I'm Free
3. Wind Blowing At My Door
4. Somebody Else
5. One-Sided Love Affair
6. The Heaviest Heart
7. If You Ever Get To Thinking Like
8. The Operation
9. Too Special
10. There Is Nothing Like...
11. Words
12. It's Not Because
13. I Don't Ever Want To Stop
14. My Brand New Day
15. What Would You Say
16. What You Are To Me
17. Truth Is
18. Too Much
19. Heaven Sent
20. Another Muse
21. Today (Is The Day)
22. Stranger Man Than I
23. The Leading Man
24. Brand New Scene
25. I Still Adore You
26. One Of These Days
27. My Place In Life
28. Overnight Success
29. A Truer Love
30. Would You Love Me
31. I Would, But...
32. A Man Of Few (spoken) Words
33. It Must Be You
34. I Wish It Didn't Hurt
35. Maybe There's A Reason After All
36. Misery Loves Company
37. Balancing Emotions
38. Your Biggest Fan
39. For Who She Is
40. Neighbors
41. Millions Of Moments
42. Life And Death
43. ...But What If I Need You?
The End.
After this, there is only one more book to introduce- Perfect Center- which are my poems from 2002 to 2006- thats when I pretty much stopped writing poems and started writing in my notebooks. People that know me know about my notebooks- or should. It evolved into a black double attache case- whatever you want to call it- holding the current months book and the previous month. It went wherever I went. I affectionately (Maybe too much) called it my LIFE. (Look, I File Everything!) Things happen for a reason, go through a cycle, then just naturally drop off or stop altogether. i didn't force it- i didn't make it happen, but this January I really backed off on my writing and went about doing things differently. If I had done it on purpose, or forced it, it would have happened in June, as that is the anniversary of my June Book. Starting in 2006. So what I have now is a very informative and probably just as revealing 3 1/2 year block of notebooks, a notebook for each month, except on a few rare occasions. Why? Because I wanted to try and contain my brain. I figured If you can't beat em, join em. I wanted to document time and what happened in it. I did the best i could, but finally I gave up and decided that my best would have to be good enough. I couldn't write fast enough to get everything down before it left me! My hope, still, is that I got what was important, but if I did miss something, that one day it would come back to me. I keep saying you can't force a bright idea. It just sucks when you do have one and its gets away from you.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
2000 Poem Book Introduction and Poem
Hello again! I know I have been away for a little while, but I'm back!! Today I am posting a poem from my 2000 poem book entitled In So Many Words. The name of the poem is also In So Many Words. Here We go:
In so many words I have tried to put my feelings on paper. Good feelings, bad feelings, raw feelings. I've wanted you to feel me and maybe let you see where I am coming from.
I've wanted to pour out everything from myself in hopes of achieving clarity and the ability to sleep at night without dying to the world upon contact with my pillow.
But the words churn endlessly in my mind, continously ravaging its plains and gnawing on my patience until it becomes too much to bear sanely. Thoughts and ideas, projects, plans and fragments of promise tumble over each other like clothes in a dryer in a laundromat or the Lottery bubble as seen on tv.
Good ideas, if I'm quick enough with a pen and close enough to something to write on, are sometimes salvaged to be expanded into something worth standing. If not, most are lost, sometimes forever. Like the clothes through the glass door of the dryer, some are seens parts of again, but not enough to show you what you need in order to work with them.
Though I can't accuse myself of hearing voices, these visual cogitations interfere heavily upon my life. They distract me through conversations, becoming sometimes audible to the point where I can barely hear what the speaker is saying to me. Attempts at retention of important details seem futile as they join the rest of the frantically agitating pieces of clamjamfry.
And I've written so many words on paper that I have been unable to keep track of just how many. They've said so much, in so many ways, that mmaybe the message is getting lost in all the gobbledygook.
In so many words, I've lauded love, ranted on about romance, harped against hatred and even alluded to lunacy. I haven't gotten up on rooftops, but I've shouted "Save me, forgive me, love me anyway, despite whatever". I've conjured up significance to insignificant injuries. I took to thinking and I wound up wondering if there is anything anywhere that is worth all this worrying.
There you have it. As you may have noticed, somewhere along the line I have broken free of the standard run-of- the -mill stanza poem and its different though restricting rhyming patterns. I did try to stretch and grow my writings and my styles to see what I could do with just a pen and some paper. I even backed into a Haiku once, which I'll put on here sometime. Sometimes, to make it interesting, I'd get myself a little buzzed- maybe a little more- then I'd sit down and write. It was fun trying to read my own writing the next day, but some of these poems that you'll see on here- perhaps some of the better ones- came from a different state of mind. You may or may not be able to tell. I'm not even sure I know which ones came from that, though I bring it up here because I suspect this may be one of them. And just to let you know, some of these blogs may just come about the same way. I think it's interesting what your mind can come up with with a little different kind of help.
I've said somewhere before- in some writing somewhere- You can say so much- But then you can only say so much. When you write it in a letter, an email, or in a text on a cell phone, you may end up saying something that you didn't even intend to say. I've run into that lately. When you write down the way you feel, even though you know the tone and mood associated with the writing, it is the mood and the tone of the person reading it that ends up counting in the end. Sure, there are things you can put in the letter to try and denote the mood or tone, such as smiley faces :-), lols, maybe even exclamation marks at certain places, though even those can be misinterpreted at times. While I have declared that its the writers mood and tone that should be considered, it is the writer that it is meant for and sent to, so it will be their interpretation that will have to be considered in the end. There are ways around and through this problem, however. If you talk at all, you can explain what tone and mood was intended for that writing. In fact, if you talk at all, the reader will have a better idea of how you actually wrote it. When you're texting someone all day every day, you pretty much get to know what they're saying, and how they're saying it. I hope my followers are getting something out of my poetry. I appreciate the comments. I eat them up as a matter of fact! Sometimes you don't even realize what you wrote or how it DOES affect people, which is the good opposite side of the people that just whiz through them and don't even know what they just read. They make me look forward to sharing more and more with you- dusting off the cobwebs of these creations I've had for years now and exposing them to the light of day- and the internet!
Here is the Table Of Contents of In So Many Words:
1. Be The Finger
2. To My One And Only Mother
3. I Want To Know
4. All About You
5. You Stand Out In My Memory
6. The Perfect One For Me
7. The Chance
8. Indescribable Beautitude
9. Searching For Daylight
10. The Gamble
11. I Cried
12. Only If You Count The Ways
13. Tidbit
14. Woman
15. Ransom
16. I Needed A Song
17. A Moment Of Peace
18. Ordinary Enough
19. I Gotta
20. The Next Girl That I See
21. Tidbit
22. Where Is The Boy?
23. Just Another Poem Without A Title
24. Someone Like You
25. Going Outside
26. Mental Case
27. Theredore I Am
28. Love Is...
29. In So Many Words
30. I Write I
31. I Write II
1999 Leftover:
Brilliance (The Last Two Days)
In So Many Words
In so many words I have tried to put my feelings on paper. Good feelings, bad feelings, raw feelings. I've wanted you to feel me and maybe let you see where I am coming from.
I've wanted to pour out everything from myself in hopes of achieving clarity and the ability to sleep at night without dying to the world upon contact with my pillow.
But the words churn endlessly in my mind, continously ravaging its plains and gnawing on my patience until it becomes too much to bear sanely. Thoughts and ideas, projects, plans and fragments of promise tumble over each other like clothes in a dryer in a laundromat or the Lottery bubble as seen on tv.
Good ideas, if I'm quick enough with a pen and close enough to something to write on, are sometimes salvaged to be expanded into something worth standing. If not, most are lost, sometimes forever. Like the clothes through the glass door of the dryer, some are seens parts of again, but not enough to show you what you need in order to work with them.
Though I can't accuse myself of hearing voices, these visual cogitations interfere heavily upon my life. They distract me through conversations, becoming sometimes audible to the point where I can barely hear what the speaker is saying to me. Attempts at retention of important details seem futile as they join the rest of the frantically agitating pieces of clamjamfry.
And I've written so many words on paper that I have been unable to keep track of just how many. They've said so much, in so many ways, that mmaybe the message is getting lost in all the gobbledygook.
In so many words, I've lauded love, ranted on about romance, harped against hatred and even alluded to lunacy. I haven't gotten up on rooftops, but I've shouted "Save me, forgive me, love me anyway, despite whatever". I've conjured up significance to insignificant injuries. I took to thinking and I wound up wondering if there is anything anywhere that is worth all this worrying.
Nelson Coblentz
12/8/00
There you have it. As you may have noticed, somewhere along the line I have broken free of the standard run-of- the -mill stanza poem and its different though restricting rhyming patterns. I did try to stretch and grow my writings and my styles to see what I could do with just a pen and some paper. I even backed into a Haiku once, which I'll put on here sometime. Sometimes, to make it interesting, I'd get myself a little buzzed- maybe a little more- then I'd sit down and write. It was fun trying to read my own writing the next day, but some of these poems that you'll see on here- perhaps some of the better ones- came from a different state of mind. You may or may not be able to tell. I'm not even sure I know which ones came from that, though I bring it up here because I suspect this may be one of them. And just to let you know, some of these blogs may just come about the same way. I think it's interesting what your mind can come up with with a little different kind of help.
I've said somewhere before- in some writing somewhere- You can say so much- But then you can only say so much. When you write it in a letter, an email, or in a text on a cell phone, you may end up saying something that you didn't even intend to say. I've run into that lately. When you write down the way you feel, even though you know the tone and mood associated with the writing, it is the mood and the tone of the person reading it that ends up counting in the end. Sure, there are things you can put in the letter to try and denote the mood or tone, such as smiley faces :-), lols, maybe even exclamation marks at certain places, though even those can be misinterpreted at times. While I have declared that its the writers mood and tone that should be considered, it is the writer that it is meant for and sent to, so it will be their interpretation that will have to be considered in the end. There are ways around and through this problem, however. If you talk at all, you can explain what tone and mood was intended for that writing. In fact, if you talk at all, the reader will have a better idea of how you actually wrote it. When you're texting someone all day every day, you pretty much get to know what they're saying, and how they're saying it. I hope my followers are getting something out of my poetry. I appreciate the comments. I eat them up as a matter of fact! Sometimes you don't even realize what you wrote or how it DOES affect people, which is the good opposite side of the people that just whiz through them and don't even know what they just read. They make me look forward to sharing more and more with you- dusting off the cobwebs of these creations I've had for years now and exposing them to the light of day- and the internet!
Here is the Table Of Contents of In So Many Words:
1. Be The Finger
2. To My One And Only Mother
3. I Want To Know
4. All About You
5. You Stand Out In My Memory
6. The Perfect One For Me
7. The Chance
8. Indescribable Beautitude
9. Searching For Daylight
10. The Gamble
11. I Cried
12. Only If You Count The Ways
13. Tidbit
14. Woman
15. Ransom
16. I Needed A Song
17. A Moment Of Peace
18. Ordinary Enough
19. I Gotta
20. The Next Girl That I See
21. Tidbit
22. Where Is The Boy?
23. Just Another Poem Without A Title
24. Someone Like You
25. Going Outside
26. Mental Case
27. Theredore I Am
28. Love Is...
29. In So Many Words
30. I Write I
31. I Write II
1999 Leftover:
Brilliance (The Last Two Days)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
My Prayer
Dear God
(First I ask that you help me to read this every day and to remember these words when I am away)
Walk with us, Lord, as we walk through this world, and help us to live in your ways. I'm sure you know that there are many things here to distract us from your ways, but surely I can, with your help, do better and try harder. Guide my thoughts, Lord, and keep them away from the negative things, Satan's things, and instead focus on what is yours- the good, positive things of this world. I know you put Angels among us, Lord, to help us through things. Please don't let me forsake them and ignore your advice. I know that you work in myterious ways, and that everything happens for a reason, so help me to stay open minded when things happen that I don't understand. It's all a part of your master plan, Lord.
Help me to help others whenever I get the chance, Lord, for they just might be one of those angels, testing me to see what kind of person I am. Help me to pass that test, Lord!
Heal my heart from these wounds that I know you already know about, Lord, and help it to beat a good beat for you as I continue to live this life by your grace.
You know what each and every one of think we need, Lord, for you know all and see all- but you also know what each and every one of us deserve. You can read our minds and see every action that we have done on this earth and in our lives, and you know those bad things we did- and that we just can't be happy until we have paid the cost for that sin and been disciplined in your loving grace. I don't need to tell you what they are, for you can see into my soul and know even better than I do what needs your attention the most. Forgive me for my sins, Lord, and show me the right way to move forward in my life according to your plan.
Help me to become what you have intended for me to become, and don't let me be afraid of what other people may think about me, or what they think I should become. I should only have to worry about what The Lord, My God wants me to be, and what he wants me to do. Help me to remember that when the time comes that I put too much stock in the thoughts and opinions of others.
Please, Lord, shine your light into my heart and into my life and chase away the darkness. Fill every corner of my existance with your love, with your patience, with your holiness.
I have been reading a lot about you, lately, Lord, and I have to admit that I have been missing out on a lot. There are things in Your Book I had no idea were in there. And it's so interesting!
Sometimes we even read the nexts days' verses because we are so intrigued with this new knowledge! Please build me up even more with your knowledge, Lord, with your word.
Bless us all, Lord, for you know we need it down here! Keep knocking on our hearts just in case we might open up and let you in, Lord. Some of us aren't quite sure how, Lord, or feel that we're not ready. Please help me get ready to receive you! I want to let you in and have you in my heart, living with me day after day, every day, to show me which way to step. Guide those who may just be going through the motions, Lord, for that will get them nowhere with you. Again, its not the thoughts and opinions of others that count, it is only Your judgement that will mean anything in the end. We know who we are, as do you, even when others may not. A good christian is not just a christian in church, on Sundays, but is so on every day of the week, in Your honor.
Please watch over us on our cruise, Lord. Keep us safe on our travels and be with us when we go to Texas. Guide us on our move and help us make new friends in our new surroundings.
Please bless our marriage, Lord, and help to make it a joyful celebration of the beginning of our new life together. Please don't let me dwell on the negatives on such a positive day. Help me to be the man that I need to be for Angela, doing what I need to do, and finding the right words to say when I need to speak.
Our Father, thou art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever, Amen
(First I ask that you help me to read this every day and to remember these words when I am away)
Walk with us, Lord, as we walk through this world, and help us to live in your ways. I'm sure you know that there are many things here to distract us from your ways, but surely I can, with your help, do better and try harder. Guide my thoughts, Lord, and keep them away from the negative things, Satan's things, and instead focus on what is yours- the good, positive things of this world. I know you put Angels among us, Lord, to help us through things. Please don't let me forsake them and ignore your advice. I know that you work in myterious ways, and that everything happens for a reason, so help me to stay open minded when things happen that I don't understand. It's all a part of your master plan, Lord.
Help me to help others whenever I get the chance, Lord, for they just might be one of those angels, testing me to see what kind of person I am. Help me to pass that test, Lord!
Heal my heart from these wounds that I know you already know about, Lord, and help it to beat a good beat for you as I continue to live this life by your grace.
You know what each and every one of think we need, Lord, for you know all and see all- but you also know what each and every one of us deserve. You can read our minds and see every action that we have done on this earth and in our lives, and you know those bad things we did- and that we just can't be happy until we have paid the cost for that sin and been disciplined in your loving grace. I don't need to tell you what they are, for you can see into my soul and know even better than I do what needs your attention the most. Forgive me for my sins, Lord, and show me the right way to move forward in my life according to your plan.
Help me to become what you have intended for me to become, and don't let me be afraid of what other people may think about me, or what they think I should become. I should only have to worry about what The Lord, My God wants me to be, and what he wants me to do. Help me to remember that when the time comes that I put too much stock in the thoughts and opinions of others.
Please, Lord, shine your light into my heart and into my life and chase away the darkness. Fill every corner of my existance with your love, with your patience, with your holiness.
I have been reading a lot about you, lately, Lord, and I have to admit that I have been missing out on a lot. There are things in Your Book I had no idea were in there. And it's so interesting!
Sometimes we even read the nexts days' verses because we are so intrigued with this new knowledge! Please build me up even more with your knowledge, Lord, with your word.
Bless us all, Lord, for you know we need it down here! Keep knocking on our hearts just in case we might open up and let you in, Lord. Some of us aren't quite sure how, Lord, or feel that we're not ready. Please help me get ready to receive you! I want to let you in and have you in my heart, living with me day after day, every day, to show me which way to step. Guide those who may just be going through the motions, Lord, for that will get them nowhere with you. Again, its not the thoughts and opinions of others that count, it is only Your judgement that will mean anything in the end. We know who we are, as do you, even when others may not. A good christian is not just a christian in church, on Sundays, but is so on every day of the week, in Your honor.
Please watch over us on our cruise, Lord. Keep us safe on our travels and be with us when we go to Texas. Guide us on our move and help us make new friends in our new surroundings.
Please bless our marriage, Lord, and help to make it a joyful celebration of the beginning of our new life together. Please don't let me dwell on the negatives on such a positive day. Help me to be the man that I need to be for Angela, doing what I need to do, and finding the right words to say when I need to speak.
Our Father, thou art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever, Amen
Saturday, March 13, 2010
1998 Poem Book Introduction- Confessions, Signed And Dated
Todays poem comes from Confessions, Signed And Dated, my '98-'99 poetry book. There is, again, a poem of that same title, but I have chosen a different one to share with you. This poem is called Who Am I?
I'm scared to love and get too close
Afraid to pursue what I want the most-- Who Am I?
I put myself at the bottom of the totem pole
Even when I should really be in control-- Who Am I?
I don't know what it is you want me to say
When you might want to hear 'Please don't go away'-- Who Am I?
Not happy with my life, or anything in it
Too cautious, or lazy, to do much about it-- Who Am I?
I want you to know me and somehow still care
Even when guts are spilled and my soul is left bare-- Who Am I?
I have what I have, what some others want
But I still keep on burying my Kup in the Sant-- Who Am I?
I want the answer before I've asked the question
I want the honor but not the attention-- Who Am I?
I am so much more than I allow me to be
So much more than I wish for the world to see-- Who Am I?
I laugh and I cry and I think about you
I dance with the lies to twist the truth-- Who Am I?
I'm afraid, so afraid, to let you close to me
so scared, oh so scared, you wouldn't like what you'd see-- Who Am I?
I think sometimes I know, then I don't
I know that I can, turns out I just won't-- Who Am I?
I'm a hypocrite in a hypocritical world
I missed the part where boy meets world-- Who Am I?
I love the night, but have a day job
I love egg sandwiches and corn on the cob-- Who Am I?
I write, I draw, I think to create
I try to express what makes my head ache-- Who Am I?
I fell so I failed, and I sit the rest out
To others but a challenge they would do without-- Who Am I?
I hate myself for being this way
Though I know that tomorrow will be the same as today-- Who Am I?
I try to pretend there is no one else out there
But don't stop to realize there are those who care-- Who Am I?
I hurt, disappoint, forsake and betray
Payment to friends who tried to show me the way--Who Am I?
I speak, no one listens, to them it's a joke
I am the eye and all they do is poke-- Who Am I?
I think so fast pens can't keep up
But only when alone- around others I'm stuck-- Who Am I?
There may be so many people just like me that I may get tired of counting in a couple days, but I still feel sometimes like I'm the only one....
26. Letter To An Angel
Who Am I?
I'm scared to love and get too close
Afraid to pursue what I want the most-- Who Am I?
I put myself at the bottom of the totem pole
Even when I should really be in control-- Who Am I?
I don't know what it is you want me to say
When you might want to hear 'Please don't go away'-- Who Am I?
Not happy with my life, or anything in it
Too cautious, or lazy, to do much about it-- Who Am I?
I want you to know me and somehow still care
Even when guts are spilled and my soul is left bare-- Who Am I?
I have what I have, what some others want
But I still keep on burying my Kup in the Sant-- Who Am I?
I want the answer before I've asked the question
I want the honor but not the attention-- Who Am I?
I am so much more than I allow me to be
So much more than I wish for the world to see-- Who Am I?
I laugh and I cry and I think about you
I dance with the lies to twist the truth-- Who Am I?
I'm afraid, so afraid, to let you close to me
so scared, oh so scared, you wouldn't like what you'd see-- Who Am I?
I think sometimes I know, then I don't
I know that I can, turns out I just won't-- Who Am I?
I'm a hypocrite in a hypocritical world
I missed the part where boy meets world-- Who Am I?
I love the night, but have a day job
I love egg sandwiches and corn on the cob-- Who Am I?
I write, I draw, I think to create
I try to express what makes my head ache-- Who Am I?
I fell so I failed, and I sit the rest out
To others but a challenge they would do without-- Who Am I?
I hate myself for being this way
Though I know that tomorrow will be the same as today-- Who Am I?
I try to pretend there is no one else out there
But don't stop to realize there are those who care-- Who Am I?
I hurt, disappoint, forsake and betray
Payment to friends who tried to show me the way--Who Am I?
I speak, no one listens, to them it's a joke
I am the eye and all they do is poke-- Who Am I?
I think so fast pens can't keep up
But only when alone- around others I'm stuck-- Who Am I?
There may be so many people just like me that I may get tired of counting in a couple days, but I still feel sometimes like I'm the only one....
Nelson Coblentz
6/1/98
This poem is about how we as human beings can feel quite alone at times, even when there are thousands, sometimes 100's of thousand -or even millions- of people that feel exactly the same way. When you have low self-esteem, for whatever reason, it's even worse. I have had low self-esteem for years, really hating on myself, not feeling worthy of much of anything. Whatever good did happen to me was quickly discounted and soon meant nothing to me at all.
I am now at the point where I can at least say that, you know? For years I would've felt SO bad that I couldn't even tell you HOW bad I felt. Even now I feel kinda wierd telling you some of these things, but I do believe that talking about things makes me feel better about them. When you keep everything held in for so long, nobody can help you, nobody can relate to you even when they do feel the same way, because they have no idea that YOU feel that way.
Low self-esteem is just horrible. It's really a terrible, terrible thing! The way that you feel about yourself taints everything that you look at, feel, hear and think about what is going on around you. When people DO give you compliments- a lot of people don't give compliments at all- you just shrug it off, like I said earlier, and act like it's nothing. No matter what good, or how much of it happens in your life, you don't see it because you're looking at all the negatives. It's just a bad, bad way to live, and I finally got worn down and right tired of living like that. I'm getting married in May and I don't want to drag that old me into a new life. I've been seeing a therapist- and I can say that because that is a good thing- I think everybody should make an appointment with one right now. It can't hurt! It feels good to talk to somebody about things now and then and learn new ways to think about it, look at it, and deal with things.
I don't ever want to become someone who thinks I'm better than anyone else. That's not what I'm after at all . I have a long way to go and then some before I get to that point, so I'm not too worried about that right now. All I want is to be able to stand myself, consider myself a worthy individual, trust and respect myself, and be able to be happy. We all deserve that, don't we? Yes, we do! Even I do!!
Low self-esteem, from what I've read and all, comes from the negative stuff you were told when you were a child, and for one reason or another, were allowed to digest wrong information and get this bad image about yourself. Sometimes the parents don't mean to- but sometimes the parents could have tried harder. What can you really do, right? Deep down I know I can become more, and be what I want, but it is very very difficult to climb up that hill, and harder yet when the wind thats supposed to be at your back is blowing right in your face, pushing you backwards.
I don't want to dwell on that too much anymore. I have a more positive outlook on life now, looking forward instead of backward, and I'm looking forward to each new day more and more now. These days my path is on a hill with a gentle downhill slope, both ways. I'm working on removing the negatives from my life and looking for more of the positives. I know they're there. You pretty much find find what you;'re looking for. It's all inside you, folks! You have to move your own feet if you want to dance! Other people can only do so much for you, even when they are trying to help. They can send you down the slide and be there waiting for you at the bottom, but YOU have to go down the slide yourself! Sometimes its a short slide, and the ride isn't so bad because you can see the bottom. But other times the slide has twists and turns and hills and valleys, and you can't always see the other end of it. Some slides even have tunnels to go through, where things might even get dark for a moment or two, but you have to have faith that that someone will be there to catch you when you get to the end. Sometimes even having that faith is really hard to do, especially since you're already suffering, but with time, you get better and better, using each last step as the guide to the next one, and so on and so on.
By the way, here is the table of contents for Confessions, Signed And Dated:
1998 Poems:
1. Confessions, Signed And Dated
2. Tranquility
3. Pictures In The Dark
4. The Trophy
5. Retarded
6. Porque Mi Muy Loco
7. The Only Thing I Can't Have
8. no Ordinary Mind
9. To Each his Own
10. Lonely Again Today
11. The Only Place?
12. Just Another One Of Those Crazy Dreams
13. Post-Dated Paranoia
14. Muse
15. Love (A Completely Different Story)
16. You Might As Well Just Take With You When You Go
17. A Means To An End
18. Who Am I?
19. Guilt-Stained Fingers
20. Something Sorta Kinda
21. Beautiful Lady (would You Be My Friend)
22. Love?
23. I Don't Know
24. Pretty Girl
25. In A Different World
26. Letter To An Angel
27. A Fast Train Leaving
28. CoLoRS
29. Feature Presentation
30. Pawn
31. I Could Love You
32. I'd Give You Everything
33. The Way That I Could
34. If You Promised Not To Hold It Against Me
35. The Critic Cried
36. Too Much Like Love
37. Confessions, Signed And Dated
38. She's Just A Woman
39. Too Far Away From The Story
40. I Need A Title
41. (You Took Away) All The Words I Had To Say
42. In The Morning?
43. Something Ordinary
1999 Poems:
1. Footprints On The Beach
2. Too Much Inside
3. Through Different Eyes
4. Yesterday And Tomorrow
5. A Letter To you
6. Silent Admiraton
7. My Angel
8. I Want To Be Good At You
9. My Little World
10. My Wish List
11. Patriot-tism
12. I Want To Be Just Like You
13. All I Want Is Your Heart
14. What Do You Think About Us?
15. Different Days
16. Wanted: Identity
17. Photographic Memories Of A Dream
18. Dramatic Irony
19. yOU
20. I Dind't Do It For You
21. Muse Too
22. Final Analysis
23. With You
24. Second Feature Presentation
25. A Brand New Life
The End.
There is the listing of the different poems and the matching stories upcoming on my blog. A part of me is looking forward to it- another part of me is already feeling the chill of having the security blanket of secrecy removed from over top of me.
But all will come- in time- in good time.
Good night all,
From me to you,
Nelson Coblentz
Friday, March 12, 2010
Just a tidbit for you
Just a shorty from my '98-'99 poetry book:
The swashbuckling oaf walked in like he owned the joint and asked his angel
if she would like to share with him a bit of food.
She answered immediately with a resounding YES, for in her mind, she was but an ordinary
girl in an ordinary way, and her angel had just asked her to share with him a bit of food.
They were both happy!
1997 Poem Book Introduction and Poem
Ok! We finally got through 1996, now we move right into 1997. I'm looking forward to getting through these intros, have I mentioned that? This poem is from the book with the same title, With Just A Pen. Here Goes:
With just a pen
You can write a song
And tell the world
What you think is wrong
You can write the longest letter
Just to make somebody cry
Or you could jot down an apology
And do what you can to explain to them why
You could could make up a new world order
How it would be if it were up to you
You could even make a mess; tell us you've something to confess
Then you could lie to us, or tell us the simple truth
You could dedicate yourself to the world
Or just to somebody you truly love
You could curse another death upon the Devil
Or draft new prayers to the LORD above
You could make a world of difference
With what you're holding in your hand
Add a little thought and the time it takes
It doesn't even matter if you're a woman or a man
With just a pen you can cross out a debt
That has since been paid in full
You can scribble for a best friend just a little note
To let her know you think about her and that you think she's cool
You can write a farewell for someone leaving
Or welcome them back with a great big cheerful HI!!!
You can write down your questions and have them answered
Or write down your own answers when you finally find out why
With Just A Pen
With just a pen
You can write a song
And tell the world
What you think is wrong
You can write the longest letter
Just to make somebody cry
Or you could jot down an apology
And do what you can to explain to them why
You could could make up a new world order
How it would be if it were up to you
You could even make a mess; tell us you've something to confess
Then you could lie to us, or tell us the simple truth
You could dedicate yourself to the world
Or just to somebody you truly love
You could curse another death upon the Devil
Or draft new prayers to the LORD above
You could make a world of difference
With what you're holding in your hand
Add a little thought and the time it takes
It doesn't even matter if you're a woman or a man
With just a pen you can cross out a debt
That has since been paid in full
You can scribble for a best friend just a little note
To let her know you think about her and that you think she's cool
You can write a farewell for someone leaving
Or welcome them back with a great big cheerful HI!!!
You can write down your questions and have them answered
Or write down your own answers when you finally find out why
Nelson Coblentz
12/18/97
I know that pens are used a lot less than they used to be, what with all this computer mess and junk, but we still need them, right? I don't dare go anywhere without my pen and little notepad. I just have too many thoughts and ideas to try and keep track of them in my head. There's enough going on up there already! It is even easier to do these things I mentioned with these computers, as with this I can share my thoughts with people all over the world. I could start trouble, but why? There's enough out there that I'm proud to not be involved with already!
Here is the Table Of Contents for With Just A Pen- 1997 poems
1. Will There Ever Be A Way?
2. Remember Me?
3. A Narrow-Minded Ruler With A Loaded Gun
4. I Heard About It In A Song
5. The Tired Voices
6. Angel Of Mercy
7. More Than Just A Song
8. Memory Of Someone Like You
9. The Quarter
10. If It Makes You Want To Dance
11. Unmade Promises
12. Say What You Mean (And Mean What You Say)
13. It's Your Life
14. I've Never
15. Behind The Eyes
16. Free
17. Some Kind Of Sadness (In Her Eyes)
18. Gobbledygook
19. If I Should Fall In Love With You (Too Soon)
20. I Refuse To Feel Sorry
21. Will You Accept The Charges
22. For Just A Day
23. The Big Green Shirt (With The Big Old Dinosaur)
24. Happy Birthday!
25. Yet We Laugh
26. Public Apology
27. Pieces Of Poetry
28. On The Edge Of Forgiveness
29. Untitled
30. More To Say
31. One Thousand Words
32. Do It
33. It Takes A Beautiful Woman (To Be Somebody Like You)
34. Tonight
35. Lonely Away
36. Red Rover
37. Seriously
38. Always Searching (For Something You'll Never Find)
39. It Had To Be You
40. Needless To Say
41. You Don't Have To Answer The Question
42. My Sun
43. The Many Faces
44. Inside My Head
45. No Artificial Flowers
46. For The Love Of Music
47. A Weed In A Flowerbed
48. The Witness
49. It's All In My Heart
50. Not Using Words
51. But I Do
52. The Love Of My Life
53. B.Y.O.R (Bring Your Own Reason)
54. When Daddy Comes Home
55. You Made A Liar Out Of Me
56. Crazy
57. I'm Not Hungry
58. You Wouldn't Know
59. Untitled II
60. Counting Scars
61. Happiness
62. The Lonely Writer
63. The Mountain, Man
64. Lipstick On the Mirror
65. Untitled III
66. What You're About
67. Trying To Keep From Falling Out Of Love
68. Something Only A Woman Like You Can Be
69. Ignorance
70. Something To Rearrange
71. With Just A Pen
72. Falling Apart At The Dream
73. Names Of Strangers
74. The Meanest Man In Town
75. I feel Better Now
And this concludes the 1997 poem book introduction and poem posting. You know what comes next, right? Thats right! Next up is my '98-'99 book, titled Confessions, Signed And Dated. That ought to be interesting! More poems and stories coming up!! I hope you're enjoying my posts and elaborations. I'm sure some of them will be hard to hit the 'publish post' button on, but I can do it!
I'm not going to keep going with this one. I think I said enough. This rainy weather we're having is making me pretty sleepy, and it's kinda hard to think of things to say.
So I'll say TeeTeeEffEn, and I'll catch up with yous later.
From me to you, until next time,
Nelson Coblentz
Thursday, March 11, 2010
1996 Poem Book Introduction Part II
Hi all, I'm back. I took a bit of a break, I know, but lets just say that I needed it and hopefully it'll be okay. okay? Cool beans then and with that we shall move on!
Tonight I am posting the poem from the second half of my 1996 poem book, again because there were 140 poems in that book and I didn't want to put the whole TOC on here at one time.
This poem is entitled No More Chances:
I will not let him die in vain
I will drive much safer now
Does he know that he has changed my life
I wish I could tell him somehow
I didn't know him, as far as I knew
They had taken him before I got there
But what he left in the streets for the people to see
They saw, and you could see they cared
But he'll have no more chances for living
His book has seen its last page
No more chances for seeing his grandchildren being
No more chances of dying of old age
No more chances to love and be happy
His smile no one will see again
He will never be sad, never wish that he had
No more chances of remembering when
His last prayers have been said, if he said them
No more chances if there are things left undone
No more chances to enjoy his last moments
Because God's network doesn't show reruns
Tonight I am posting the poem from the second half of my 1996 poem book, again because there were 140 poems in that book and I didn't want to put the whole TOC on here at one time.
This poem is entitled No More Chances:
No More Chances
I will not let him die in vain
I will drive much safer now
Does he know that he has changed my life
I wish I could tell him somehow
I didn't know him, as far as I knew
They had taken him before I got there
But what he left in the streets for the people to see
They saw, and you could see they cared
But he'll have no more chances for living
His book has seen its last page
No more chances for seeing his grandchildren being
No more chances of dying of old age
No more chances to love and be happy
His smile no one will see again
He will never be sad, never wish that he had
No more chances of remembering when
His last prayers have been said, if he said them
No more chances if there are things left undone
No more chances to enjoy his last moments
Because God's network doesn't show reruns
Nelson Coblentz
6/9/96
This poem is about an accident I saw the aftermath of- I didn't see it happen- a man on a motorcycle lost control and, according to some people that were standing around watching, had slid and tumbled along down the highway, doing too much damage to his humanity to survive. Apparently he was traveling at quite an impressive speed and there wasn't a whole lot left of him. I didn't see anything of the man himself, but I saw enough of the mess he left behind and got a vivid enough picture in my head to come up with this poem. It really had an effect on me- and my driving, though, as you might expect, time has diluted that effect and now I don't even think about it until, of course, I read this poem again and get taken back to that night with the gathering crowds, messy roadway, flashing multi-colored lights, and the star of the show who had run out of chances.
Here is the second half of the Table Of Contents of my 1996 poem book:
71. Part Of The Past I've Left Behind
72. Hung Out To Dry
73. Just One Of The Boys
74. Please Don't Fall In Love With Me
75. As Soon As This Light Turns Green
76. They Thought I Was Sleeping
77. My Middle Name
78. The Best Of A Different Drummer
79. Memories Of You
80. Don't Tell Him The Truth
81. Somewhere Up There
82. Out Of Order
83. Me, Myself, And I
84. Lying To Myself
85. If Love Was The Way
86. You Wouldn't Understand
87. Lucky Charm
88. A Love Like Yours
89. Whispers In The Dark
90. If I Was Her
91. When What's Going Around Comes Around To you
92. She Said She Loved Him
93. She Never Even Told Me Good-bye
94. Nothing To Fear
95. In Search Of
96. No More Chances
97. She Said
98. The One For Me
99. The Most Important Thing In This Whole World
100. It Doesn't Really Matter Anymore
101. Her Lonely World
102. The Curtain Call
103. The Saddest Part Of The Story
104. Wishing It Was Over
105. Acting Like An Actor
106. No One Ever Told Me
107. She Doesn't Even Know That I'm Alive
108. Why?
109. Living For Nothing'
110. Nothing But Lies
111. 9:30 Train
112. Inside The Circle
113. Illegal Tender
114. You Have The Right
115. She's Forgotten To Remember (To Forget)
116. Standing In The Blind Spot (Of Her Love)
117. I Don't Want To Help It Anymore
118. He Wants To Be Lonely
119. Heartanese
120. What Is It You think You Want This Time?
121. Leave It All Behind
122. The Pockets Of The Past
123. The One Next To The Window
124. The Sound Of A Beating Heart
125. Too Beautiful For Me
126. Yesterday's Promises, Tomorrow's Good-Byes
127. I Saw The Love
128. So Much Love
129. Until It Doesn't Hurt Anymore
130. When You Say Your Prayers Tonight
131. They All Called Her Mama
132. The Edge Of The Future
133. Too Many People
134. Seeking Forgiveness
135. If I Were To Love You Anymore (It Would Kill Me)
136. Pretending It Was You
137. That's What The Music Is For
138. Why Don't You Tell Me
139. The Next Generation
140. I'm Not Going To Tell You
And there you have it! Thats the last half of the '96 TOC, in case you're keeping track. If you're not, then I just put it on here for me! Kept me out of trouble for 10- 15 minutes anyway! ( So I type slow, ok! I'm what I like to call a fast pecker) I don't try to impress people by my wpm.
I'm looking forward to getting these introductions out of the way so I can just post whatever poem on here and kinda talk about it for a little bit, without having to deal with all those numbers and titles and such. I'll get there, just bear with me!
Looking through some of these poems- I remember writing them- I remember the feeling of what was going on- and its amazing how long ago some of these were! I am getting old! Well, I guess that means that I still have chances, right? If you're reading this, then you have the chance to make a difference in your life as well as in someone else's life. You can do anything you put your mind to! You know who you are and what you want! Get to it! (You'll have to pardon me every now and then, cuz I will start talking to myself! ) But seriously, we just don't know what we have until we actually don't have it anymore. I remember when my Great grandfather died, my Grandfather was sick with grief, and he commented that he had never gotten the chance to tell him... and I'm thinking, what? My grandfather was about 60 years old or something like that, and I thought surely that was enough time to say something! Ah, but I wasn't exactly an adult yet. I didn't know that things got harder and harder to say the older you got. Heck, at that age, for him to come out and say it must have been darn near impossible! Each new day bring a whole new set of chances. It all depends on whether we take them or not. My grandfather ran out of chances to tell his father something. I recently ran out of chances myself when MY grandfather died. He'd moved to New York and commenced to outliving his second wife after we left the Amish. We didn't get to see him very much, and we didn't do too well writing letters because they were more like sermons, wanting us to come back to the church, and nobody really wanted to be preached to. Close to the end, I wrote him a letter, wanting to get back in touch. I sent him some pictures of some things I made, and asked him some questions, and told him some stuff about me. I did get a letter back from him before he died, answering some questions, and he said that he couldn't find my address in his Delaware Book- Where was it that I lived? I never did write him back to help him figure it out. I guess the development was newer than his Delaware Book. I never got the chance to tell him where I live!
I think he knows now, though, cuz he can see a whole lot more than he could before. I don't think he'll have a problem finding me at all! I am glad that it just so happened that when my cousin tried to call me to tell me he had died- I was sitting in church! I had the phone on vibrate and it just kept going off. Over and over. And I knew exactly what it meant.
So love everybody! Give everybody a chance that they may not take otherwise! My grandfather used to teach school when we were Amish, and we'd walk to school with him in the mornings, doing our best to keep up, and he'd wave to people as they went by in their cars. I'd ask him sometimes "Who was that?" and he'd say "I don't Know". He was not only friends with everybody- he was their brother. We are all just humans being down here! One day we will realize that we waited one day too long, then spend the rest of our lives regretting it. And I guess the question is Is it worth that?
I'm going to stop now and call this a blog before I delete this whole thing and start over.
Good night all,
I Love You,
From me to you,
Nelson Coblentz
Friday, March 5, 2010
1996 Introduction- Part I
Not a very good picture of it, but here is my 1996 poem book. It is entitled The Letter I Couldn't Send, of which I have a poem of the same name. Like I said, 1996 produced 140 poems, so I think I'll break up the introduction into two parts, and post 2 poems from it in this first go-round.
The first poem I'll share is the one of the same name, The Letter I Couldn't Send. It's basically about some of the things that we would like to say, should say, sometimes HAVE to say, but just can't. The good thing is that even the letters that you don't send can help you just by getting the stuff out of your head and off your mind. I used to think that maybe my poems were helping me deal with some things, but then I came to the conclusion that they weren't really helping me because I wasn't letting anyone read them. They may have helped me let off some steam, but only into a slightly larger area, which then filled up and I was pretty much right back where I started. But now that I'm onto this blogging thing with all my poems, maybe it'll all come back around and help me after all. So, without further ado any longer, here is the poem:
The Letter I Couldn't Send
I've been thinking about you for so long
About what wasn't, and what could've been
I thought I might send you a letter
So I got out my paper and pen
I wrote "Hello, how are you?"
"I guess I'm doing ok"
Then I wrote "with love always, Me"
Couldn't think of anymore that I could say
But I said "No, that just won't do it"
I need to write a little more than that
Once I walked into my lonely heart
There was no coming back
I poured out all my emotions
Told you what I've felt inside
I wrote to you the sweetest words
I've ever heard of in my life
I tried my best to put to words
The thoughts and feelings trapped within
I started at one side of my heart
And worked to the other end
I wrote you words I've never said
Words I probably never will
I told you how you made me feel
When you made my world stand still
I shared with you my secrets
My fantasies and plans
I asked you to take my life
Out of my shaking hands
I told you so much about me
There was nothing left to be said
For a moment I was thinking
That I may be in over my head
I shared with you the sunrise
The way it looks from my end
I wrote things would've made you smile
In the letter I couldn't send
I let you know the human side
That gets lost so easily
By the time you would've finished reading
You would've known me better than me
You would've read the promises
The things I'd do if you came back
You would've felt what I wrote when I wrote it
You would have felt my poor heart crack
You would have felt the magic
You would have seen the tears
You would have heard the music
And smelled my biggest fears
You would've known the heartache
And the emptiness that fills my heart
Perhaps you would have felt the pain
From when you tore my world apart
It was a first class letter
It would have made you remember when
Everything you've always wanted to hear
Was in the letter I couldn't send
The day you would have gotten my letter
Would have been the first of your new life
In my words you would have found the reason
The words that cut just like a knife
You would have known that it was the truth
For simple lies are easier to tell
A test that would have stood through time
The proof before you clear as a bell
You would've known by the look on the mailman's face
By the way he held it carefully by the end
That it wasn't just an ordinary letter
But that was the letter I couldn't send
Maybe it would have made a difference
Perhaps somewhere there was an ear that I could bend
But now it doesn't matter, for the words are trapped forever
Somewhere in the letter I couldn't send.
Nelson Coblentz
'96
Whew!! I told you they can get long sometimes!!
Now for the Table of contents- Here's the first half of them:
- The Letter I Couldn't Send
- Tears Of Religion
- A Ring Around Her Heart
- Cross-Section
- Your Town, U.S.A.
- It's The Love
- I Thought So Too
- We Don't Have to Call It Making Love
- Simpler Times
- Bite The Hand
- Tell Me Again
- Playing With Fire
- Too Much Time
- That Doesn't Mean I Won't
- The Night
- Through Evil Eyes
- (I Don't Want To Be) Just Fooling Myself
- Locked Away
- Do You Still Love Me?
- Try Me
- I've Never Been This Far Before
- Welfare
- I Wanna Be There
- Mortuary
- Love In The Fast Lane
- Making Angels
- Headlines
- Between The Lines
- Do Not Enter
- When Mountains Crumble
- Red, White, And Blue
- Stepping On Roses
- Excuse Me
- True Happiness
- Be My Lover
- What Does It Mean
- Standing Too Close
- In your Dreams
- A Little Closer
- Touch My Heart
- What Would You Say
- Don't Hide It
- At The Bottom, Begging
- The World In One Hand (And Love In The Other)
- Jumbo Shrimp
- Not What I Was Wanting
- All In Your Hands
- The Perfect Place
- Someone Like Me
- Volunteers
- Not Guilty
- A Story To Tell
- You Could Have Just Said So
- All The Kings Horses
- Optical Contusions
- A New Sun Rising
- The Man In The Mirror
- I Crossed The Line
- Hopefully
- Imagined Realities
- All I Can Say Is...
- In The Heart Of The Believer
- King Of My Kingdom
- Cry For Me
- The Broken Seal
- Blinded By The Light
- Tomorrow
- It Ain't Working
- The Other Side Of Forever
- Bitter Sweet
To Be Continued.......
By the way, I didn't offset the listing like that. It happened by itself when It posted and I don't exactly know how to fix it. So I'll leave it. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.
Ok, Folks! Thats the table of contents for the first half of the book! Tomorrow, or when I get back on here, I'll post the second half, and another poem from the second half as well.
As you may notice, or not, I think anyway, the poems are starting to get better as time goes on. Later, however, you might see them start to get a little less again, due to the fact that I was just getting used up and/ or was having to force the poems a little bit more than before. I know at one point I really made a conscious effort to write about different things, not just love, so I covered some different topics. I like some of those, and I'm looking forward to sharing them with you on down the road.
Thats the end of this blog. Until next time, this is it!
From Me to You,
Nelson Coblentz
1995 Poem Book introduction
Todays poem is from my 1995 book, A Different Side Of Me. While I have a poem with that same title, I have chosen another one to share with you at this time. This book has 7o poems in it. They are mostly about love, you know, that sappy junk, and I feel like they are wasted work now, written while I wasn't even with anyone. They were written about an image, an idea, a theory of sorts, and I've wished many times through the years that I'd never written them.
I still feel what these words try to portray, but I'm feeling it for a certain special someone now, and so much stronger than ever before! We are getting married in May (MAY 8- Me And You, Forever!) and though I feel like I should be a better man before I try to be her husband, I am so excited, though quite nervous, about my upcoming new life.
I will still post poems from this book in my rotation. They are what they are. Maybe someone can get something out of them. After all, Hallmark cards are written by someone else altogether and they're given to others as means of expressing what you feel.
Todays Poem is entitled If Only You Could Feel It. Here Goes:
If Only You Could Feel It
Sweetheart, I wish there was a way
That I could get you to see
The strength of my love for you in my heart
Beatin' away inside of me
Don't know how many times I've tried
To put these feelings into words
But there are no words in the English language
That wouldn't make it sound absurd
And even if you could capture that true feeling
And hold it in your own two hands
There's no way on earth, with just paper and pen
To get someone to truly understand
You'd have to draw from your deepest emotions
Utilize everything within your soul
Gather what you can from your spirit
And grab the very essense of what makes you whole
You must capture what you've lived from your yesterdays
Add the promises of all your tomorrows
Multiply the sweetest sound on earth a hundred-fold
And you still wouldn't be anywhere close
Can you find every ounce of your passion
Mix it with the innocence of a newborn child
Contain the breathtaking awe of a sunset
Steal the natural harmony of a wolf in the wild
A photograph ain't enough; a memory won't do it
No stretch of imagination could reach
When you measure the dimensions of the vast universe
It's like but a drop from the deep blue sea
Pick the most happiest day out of your entire life
Combine it with the sweet scent of a rose
Borrow the strength of the hatred between a man and his killer
And pour it into the mystery of the things God only knows
Summon the riches of a devout tribal tradition
Secure the courage behind a sacrifice
Yank the potency of a heartache out of a widowers chest
But you will only find that it still won't suffice
Get someone to give you the ecstacy
Of the two young lovers' first kiss
Sieze the miracle of immaculate conception
But something would still be amiss
Beg for the answer to a question never spoken
Search for the truth in a vehement lie
Bring me back the curiosity from a door never opened
And an ounce of the pride that won't let you cry
Hold all these things in your own sweet hands
Feel the overwhelming power in each one
If the love in my heart was equal to that
My love would have only just begun
My Sweet Princess, If only you could feel it
This is the love I've been trying to show
It's what I feel each time I say I Love You
And the closest I could get to what I wanted you to know.
Nelson Coblentz
12/02/95
545am
I know that when one person reads another person's words, they don't always mean the same thing to them, but this poem was my 'epic' for a while, might still be. Its like describing fire or explaining milk- how do you do it?
This poem was written before I started entering them in poetry contests and was limited to the number of lines they would accept. A lot of my earlier poems are longer. you'll see, as time goes on, most of them will be right around 20 lines, which is their limit, for some reason.
I hope you get out of it what I meant to put into it. I know it took a lot out of me.
Here is the entire contents of the 1995 book, in case you wanna follow along:
- There's enough of me (To love every bit of you)
- In honor of
- Tell Me, please
- Up In Smoke
- Lucky Me
- When It Comes To You
- That Special One
- Love And Understanding
- Of All The Things In this World
- Together (We Can Make It)
- Somebody To Love
- I Can
- Know
- Never
- I Can Still Love
- How Much Of A Beating (Can This Heart Of Mine Take)
- A Song Without A Tune
- What I'm Trying To Say
- Again And Again
- I'll Be The One
- Two People In The Same Ole Love
- Would A Girl Like You
- If She Doesn't Know Already
- A Fighting Chance
- I Saw Cinderella
- When Your Wild Days Are Through
- I Was Thinking Maybe
- All That I Need To Know
- I'm Not Just Looking
- I Hope You Know
- But There'll be Love
- If I Never Fall In Love Again
- Ring, Ring, Ring
- He Got What He Deserved
- With Just your Smile
- When I see Her Again
- The You Inside
- Take Me
- Hand In Hand
- Learning To Grow
- Keeps the World Spinning 'Round
- This Crazy World
- You've Got Another Thing Coming
- this One's For You
- Before you Answer
- Just As Soon As This Song Is Over
- Love Only Knows
- If It Ain't Too Late
- It's What You Do
- Heart, Soul, Body and Mind
- The Way It Will Be
- Love, O.B.O
- The Enemy Within
- An Angel In A Pair Of Blue Jeans
- Playin With Insanity
- Screaming
- A Different Side Of Me
- A Time
- If Only You Could Feel It
- You Can't Run Away
- Let It Rain
- Suddenly
- One, Two, Three
- I Had A Cancer
- Moving On To Another Heartache
- Ode To The Zodiac
- What I Heard She Said
- Cliffhanger
- Childhood Treasures
- Would You Let Me
And there you have it, folks! Thats my 1995 poetry book for you. I know, another long blog. i hope they don't get boring or tiresome to read through, but once I get through these introductions, it won't be AS bad. Just to warn you, though, 1996 was a busy year for me- that book has 140 poems in it! We'll get through it!!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
My NEW Poem!
I know I said that I USED to write poetry, that I havent for some time now, but I had gotten the seedling in my head of an idea for a poem, and this morning I jotted it down. Whether it's actually good enough to post on here right now or not is a different matter entirely, but I'm gonna do it! It is what it is! And HEEEEERRRREEE it is:
A Bigger Hug
Many of us human beings
Are stuck in a comfort zone
A place full of things we know and love
And can truly call our own
It's hard to step outside of it
Just the thought makes your heart race!
No, we don't want much at all to do
With what doesn't fit in our embrace
Oh, but there are things out there
That I would love to have!
Fun and adventure of different sorts
Something better, of higher class
If I could wrap my arms around new things
And still be snug as a bug
I could have my cake and eat it too
So all I need is a bigger hug!!
I want to have a bigger piece of the pie
And get more of what I really deserve
I want to truly live before I die
Not always being the last one served
You don't have to leave your comfort zone
And feel like you need drugs
You just have to stretch out your arms
And give the world a bigger hug!
Nelson Coblentz
Today!
(3/4/010)
So THHHEEEEEERRRRREEEEEE it is! My latest writing! Don't be afraid to tell me what you think. I can delete what comments I don't want on here, right? I'm still trying to figure out this daggone Html crap! It doesn't look like I'm wanting it to look without having to fight with it for a while! I'll get it, I'm sure.
Because of this new poem, I will not be posting the poem of the day as I'd planned. That'll have to wait until at least tomorrow now, if not longer. Heheheheh. lol. Whatever! We shall Just see!
I do hope you like it, of course, but regardless, I already do like it. I can say that now.
So Good night everybody, and I'll probably be back here tomorrow night!
From Me to You,
Nelson Coblentz
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Me And My Poems
Ok! Peggy gave me the idea- I guess here goes! I have decided to share my poetry with you on Blogspot! I mean, its not like I'm trying to sell them elsewhere or anything. Nor do I have a lot of followers that will embarrass me by reading them. (I still don't like it very much when someone goes and reads one of my poems out loud while I'm right there. )
For those of you who don't know, I used to write poems. Lots of poems. I got started in 1991, in Mrs. Oxfords' English class at Dover High. She created this monster. I wrote pretty much until I started up my notebooks, in 2006, though I did slow down quite a bit before I eventually stopped. After that, it was pretty much journalling, and I lost my rhythm! (Pun intended, maybe)
For years I'd kept them all to myself, letting only a few people, if any at all, read my work. It's sad how easy it is for you to talk yourself into believing something sucks when really it may not. And if it does, so what? That's what low self-esteem can do for you. I'm not gonna let that happen on here. These poems may be mine, but a lot of these are reflections of who I used to was, not who I now! I will put them on here the way they were written, no matter how crude (or rude) they seem to be now. I'm in a stage of growth in my life, and I will use this to my advantage.
In sharing my poems, I plan on doing so in a way that will help me open up, share the stories behind them, if any, more of my thoughts in general, and just be more of a person, all the while getting better mileage out of my blog.
I don't know about having A Poem Of The Day- while I do have enough to do that for a good while ( I have 506 documented poems all together)- I don't want to promise that I will get on here EVERY SINGLE DAY with a different one. Maybe I'll have to get you looking forward to the next one sometimes. I do want to be somewhat regular with them, to help me and to share with you, but again, no promises.
The first poem I'm putting up here is from my first compilation- can't say publication, I never went there- titled The Beginning Of Insanity, my 1991 to 1994 poem book.
The Poem is entitled To My Dear Wife, and is dated only '94. I wasn't always as good at dating my work as I am now.
For those of you who don't know, I used to write poems. Lots of poems. I got started in 1991, in Mrs. Oxfords' English class at Dover High. She created this monster. I wrote pretty much until I started up my notebooks, in 2006, though I did slow down quite a bit before I eventually stopped. After that, it was pretty much journalling, and I lost my rhythm! (Pun intended, maybe)
For years I'd kept them all to myself, letting only a few people, if any at all, read my work. It's sad how easy it is for you to talk yourself into believing something sucks when really it may not. And if it does, so what? That's what low self-esteem can do for you. I'm not gonna let that happen on here. These poems may be mine, but a lot of these are reflections of who I used to was, not who I now! I will put them on here the way they were written, no matter how crude (or rude) they seem to be now. I'm in a stage of growth in my life, and I will use this to my advantage.
In sharing my poems, I plan on doing so in a way that will help me open up, share the stories behind them, if any, more of my thoughts in general, and just be more of a person, all the while getting better mileage out of my blog.
I don't know about having A Poem Of The Day- while I do have enough to do that for a good while ( I have 506 documented poems all together)- I don't want to promise that I will get on here EVERY SINGLE DAY with a different one. Maybe I'll have to get you looking forward to the next one sometimes. I do want to be somewhat regular with them, to help me and to share with you, but again, no promises.
The first poem I'm putting up here is from my first compilation- can't say publication, I never went there- titled The Beginning Of Insanity, my 1991 to 1994 poem book.
The Poem is entitled To My Dear Wife, and is dated only '94. I wasn't always as good at dating my work as I am now.
To: My Dear Wife
Honey, Please read this letter
And believe every single word
The only Being I love more than you
Is the One above, our Lord
The life we've lived together
The happy times we've had
We've stuck together through everything
The good times and the bad
I remember the kiss I gave you
When I said good-bye last night
I'm very grateful for that kiss
And the way you held me tight
Honey, I'm sorry about what happened
It all happened so suddenly
The things we had planned to do together
Well, I guess they weren't meant to be
The truck, it swerved to miss me
Believe me, I saw him try
But the truck skidded, my windshield shattered
Now, Darling, please don't cry
Please, Honey, do not blame him
It was surely an accident
When he came over to check on me
His concern was evident
When he tried to pull me from the car
He found he could not do so
And the doctors did the best they could
But that just wouldn't do
I'm sorry I had to do this
Darling, and leave you all alone here
But all the pain and agony
Is over now for me, Dear.
Please give my love to our dear children
Explain to them why I must go
I will love you all forever
That is something you need to know
Honey, I'm so sorry
I never meant to hurt you this way
But I'm afraid this is my last farewell...
Now, Darling, please don't cry!
I Love You,
Your Departed Husband
Nelson Coblentz
'94
'94
I don't know if there's really a story behind this one, except maybe I was just thinking about the accident I'd had in January of '93. Of course, I didn't die, and there was no one else even involved, I just wrapped my 1981 Monte Carlo around a tree at Killens Pond, but it may have just gotten me thinking. I tend to do a lot of that. And I've never been married, so it wasn't to a real wife, either!
People that have read this one have said they liked it, though it may be a bit morbid. I hope you can get something out of it.
I originally had some crazy graphics on the cover, to make you think that I'd really gone insane, but I overhauled them through the years and decided to just go with the basic cover. This one here does not have a title poem, but some of my later books I have a poem inside with the same name. Kinda like a singer's album having the same name as one of the songs. I think you get it.
Here is the Table Of Contents in case you have a certain request later on, or so you can just follow along, make sure I don't miss any as we get on down the road.
1. The Destrustion Of Earth
2. America
3. The Bloody Soldier
4. Shed A Tear
5. The Bluebird
6. If Love Was A Flower
7. The Handclasp On The Doorknob
8. Home
9. Believe
10. Starting Over
11. If Only The Eyes Could See
12. Come Here, Baby
13. Rusty Wallace (The Man)
14. The Restless Riders
15. Wild Horses
16. What I'd Do
17. I Feel It Too
18. To: My Dear Wife
19. My Love
20. The Blue Ribbon
21. For Years
22. When You're Alone
23. If This Isn't Love
24. Out Of The Corner Of My Eye
25. Compromise
26. Just Friends
27. But Not Without You
28. I Need You
29. Where Are You?
30. Someone
31. Till It's Gone
32. Did You Think
33. Bedtime
34. Hang On, Folks!
35. Greatness
36. I'm My Own Man Now
37. When You're In Love
I apologize for the lengthy blog, but thank you for making it to this point with me. They won't all be this long after I introduce all the books, depending on the length of the poem- and the story. If you'd like to see some of my stuff somewhere else, you could always go to www.poetry.com and look me up!! I have a couple on there as well.
I hope you all enjoy it and look forward to my next entry- whenever that may be.
Until that time, Good Night all, Good Night World.
From Me to You,
Nelson Coblentz
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