In So Many Words
In so many words I have tried to put my feelings on paper. Good feelings, bad feelings, raw feelings. I've wanted you to feel me and maybe let you see where I am coming from.
I've wanted to pour out everything from myself in hopes of achieving clarity and the ability to sleep at night without dying to the world upon contact with my pillow.
But the words churn endlessly in my mind, continously ravaging its plains and gnawing on my patience until it becomes too much to bear sanely. Thoughts and ideas, projects, plans and fragments of promise tumble over each other like clothes in a dryer in a laundromat or the Lottery bubble as seen on tv.
Good ideas, if I'm quick enough with a pen and close enough to something to write on, are sometimes salvaged to be expanded into something worth standing. If not, most are lost, sometimes forever. Like the clothes through the glass door of the dryer, some are seens parts of again, but not enough to show you what you need in order to work with them.
Though I can't accuse myself of hearing voices, these visual cogitations interfere heavily upon my life. They distract me through conversations, becoming sometimes audible to the point where I can barely hear what the speaker is saying to me. Attempts at retention of important details seem futile as they join the rest of the frantically agitating pieces of clamjamfry.
And I've written so many words on paper that I have been unable to keep track of just how many. They've said so much, in so many ways, that mmaybe the message is getting lost in all the gobbledygook.
In so many words, I've lauded love, ranted on about romance, harped against hatred and even alluded to lunacy. I haven't gotten up on rooftops, but I've shouted "Save me, forgive me, love me anyway, despite whatever". I've conjured up significance to insignificant injuries. I took to thinking and I wound up wondering if there is anything anywhere that is worth all this worrying.
Nelson Coblentz
12/8/00
There you have it. As you may have noticed, somewhere along the line I have broken free of the standard run-of- the -mill stanza poem and its different though restricting rhyming patterns. I did try to stretch and grow my writings and my styles to see what I could do with just a pen and some paper. I even backed into a Haiku once, which I'll put on here sometime. Sometimes, to make it interesting, I'd get myself a little buzzed- maybe a little more- then I'd sit down and write. It was fun trying to read my own writing the next day, but some of these poems that you'll see on here- perhaps some of the better ones- came from a different state of mind. You may or may not be able to tell. I'm not even sure I know which ones came from that, though I bring it up here because I suspect this may be one of them. And just to let you know, some of these blogs may just come about the same way. I think it's interesting what your mind can come up with with a little different kind of help.
I've said somewhere before- in some writing somewhere- You can say so much- But then you can only say so much. When you write it in a letter, an email, or in a text on a cell phone, you may end up saying something that you didn't even intend to say. I've run into that lately. When you write down the way you feel, even though you know the tone and mood associated with the writing, it is the mood and the tone of the person reading it that ends up counting in the end. Sure, there are things you can put in the letter to try and denote the mood or tone, such as smiley faces :-), lols, maybe even exclamation marks at certain places, though even those can be misinterpreted at times. While I have declared that its the writers mood and tone that should be considered, it is the writer that it is meant for and sent to, so it will be their interpretation that will have to be considered in the end. There are ways around and through this problem, however. If you talk at all, you can explain what tone and mood was intended for that writing. In fact, if you talk at all, the reader will have a better idea of how you actually wrote it. When you're texting someone all day every day, you pretty much get to know what they're saying, and how they're saying it. I hope my followers are getting something out of my poetry. I appreciate the comments. I eat them up as a matter of fact! Sometimes you don't even realize what you wrote or how it DOES affect people, which is the good opposite side of the people that just whiz through them and don't even know what they just read. They make me look forward to sharing more and more with you- dusting off the cobwebs of these creations I've had for years now and exposing them to the light of day- and the internet!
Here is the Table Of Contents of In So Many Words:
1. Be The Finger
2. To My One And Only Mother
3. I Want To Know
4. All About You
5. You Stand Out In My Memory
6. The Perfect One For Me
7. The Chance
8. Indescribable Beautitude
9. Searching For Daylight
10. The Gamble
11. I Cried
12. Only If You Count The Ways
13. Tidbit
14. Woman
15. Ransom
16. I Needed A Song
17. A Moment Of Peace
18. Ordinary Enough
19. I Gotta
20. The Next Girl That I See
21. Tidbit
22. Where Is The Boy?
23. Just Another Poem Without A Title
24. Someone Like You
25. Going Outside
26. Mental Case
27. Theredore I Am
28. Love Is...
29. In So Many Words
30. I Write I
31. I Write II
1999 Leftover:
Brilliance (The Last Two Days)
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