My Place In Life
Though others may have gotten more acheived in less time than I have, I need not let that discourage me- I can still catch up.
Though there are others older than me that have not yet gotten to where I am, I need not let that encourage me- I can still slip up.
I must live my life the best way that I can and make it the way that I would like it to be.
No one else needs to deal with the consequences I accrue in this life, whether they be good or bad- they are mine. The bad ones I must oversome however possible, and the good ones I must gracefully accept; some even take credit for. Either way, I must 'fess up.
The only reason that I should be unhappy with my life is when I have done my best to do what I can and find out it was to no avail. Until then, I must keep trying; keep living my life the way I feel I need to- I must not give up!
Success is different to different people. Some may call me successful by looking at where they stand themselves. Others would look down on me and say that I've a long way to go. But, In MY life, success is for ME to define- and then ACHEIVE!!
Nelson Coblentz
7/11/01
I wrote this poem on July 11th, 2001, like the date above has noted. I have NO idea what happened on that day except that I wrote this poem, but I suppose I was in some kind of inspired, introspective mood that day, and wanted to write something to hopefully motivate myself along, or at least say that where I am is quite alright. Sometimes when you don't have someone telling you these things, you have to come up with them yourself. I know that life gets busy. Sometimes you don't even have time to blink, let alone be thinking about someone else and what MIGHT be going on in their life. Sometimes you're not the kind of person that comes forward with the right thing to say at just that right time. Bless the people that do, for they are really appreciated. I have a few of them in my life, and I appreciate what they do for me. Someday I want to be that person that can open myself up to someone else and offer them just the few words that they need to hear just then. It's not a lot, but yet it is. It can mean SO much more to the reciever than the teller, even when the receiver can't tell the teller just HOW much.
One good example that I have is commenting on these blogs. I just love getting comments from people, letting me know what they thought of my blog, how much they like it, and what it did for them. I just eat that up! Yet, on the other hand, I am not a very good commenter myself, even when I do really like a certain something that I've read in somebody's blog or something. Maybe it just takes getting there. I hope so. I don't want to just assume that people know how I feel, when they have no way of knowing without me telling them. I appreciate the people in my life so much, that are trying to pry me open and get me to come out, sharing what they think is so good, but what I'm just not so sure about.
I don't mean for this to sound arrogant or boastful or whatever, but it is very frustrating to sometimes feel like you have a whole toolbox full of wonderful tools right there in front of you- that you just don't know how to use cuz nobody has ever shown you how. Where IS my place in life? Is this it? Did I miss out on something years ago that I just can't get back anymore? Why do I feel like I'm destined for something greater, but don't seem to have the map to show me how to get there? I'm not trying to replace everything in the life that I know now- I'm getting ready to get married, and I wouldn't want to miss out on that-but I'm talking about the things around that that could be so much different- so much better, had someone been there for me when they should've been and shown me how to use what they could see that I had. In one way, yes, I AM lamenting- I AM feeling sorry for myself- and those who know me know why. For those who don't, I'm not just throwing an unjustified pity party for myself. I know that as an adult, it IS now up to me to make my life whatever it is to be now. I just wish that the other people in my class wouldn't have had so much of headstart.
It is important for the people who are in the position to do something to see in your children, or even other young children, what they have that they could do something with. Don't just assume that they know. As Patti mentions in her blog, Sam's teacher recognized what he had and entered him in a competition. He saw something in him and had a way of doing something for Sam that he may not have gotten any other way. That is the way things should be, I think, the older people looking out for the younger generation instead of just worrying about themselves. And I hope I can be in the position to do that myself one day. We all can use a hand-up in life- and some NEED that more than others. Someday I will find My Place In Life and be able to help others find theirs.
We are almost done with these pesky introductions, then we can just just get on with the poems and the stories behind them. I'm looking forward to that- kinda.
Here is the Table Of Contents for my 2001 Poem Book- Words:
1. Oh! (2000 leftover)
2. I'm Free
3. Wind Blowing At My Door
4. Somebody Else
5. One-Sided Love Affair
6. The Heaviest Heart
7. If You Ever Get To Thinking Like
8. The Operation
9. Too Special
10. There Is Nothing Like...
11. Words
12. It's Not Because
13. I Don't Ever Want To Stop
14. My Brand New Day
15. What Would You Say
16. What You Are To Me
17. Truth Is
18. Too Much
19. Heaven Sent
20. Another Muse
21. Today (Is The Day)
22. Stranger Man Than I
23. The Leading Man
24. Brand New Scene
25. I Still Adore You
26. One Of These Days
27. My Place In Life
28. Overnight Success
29. A Truer Love
30. Would You Love Me
31. I Would, But...
32. A Man Of Few (spoken) Words
33. It Must Be You
34. I Wish It Didn't Hurt
35. Maybe There's A Reason After All
36. Misery Loves Company
37. Balancing Emotions
38. Your Biggest Fan
39. For Who She Is
40. Neighbors
41. Millions Of Moments
42. Life And Death
43. ...But What If I Need You?
The End.
After this, there is only one more book to introduce- Perfect Center- which are my poems from 2002 to 2006- thats when I pretty much stopped writing poems and started writing in my notebooks. People that know me know about my notebooks- or should. It evolved into a black double attache case- whatever you want to call it- holding the current months book and the previous month. It went wherever I went. I affectionately (Maybe too much) called it my LIFE. (Look, I File Everything!) Things happen for a reason, go through a cycle, then just naturally drop off or stop altogether. i didn't force it- i didn't make it happen, but this January I really backed off on my writing and went about doing things differently. If I had done it on purpose, or forced it, it would have happened in June, as that is the anniversary of my June Book. Starting in 2006. So what I have now is a very informative and probably just as revealing 3 1/2 year block of notebooks, a notebook for each month, except on a few rare occasions. Why? Because I wanted to try and contain my brain. I figured If you can't beat em, join em. I wanted to document time and what happened in it. I did the best i could, but finally I gave up and decided that my best would have to be good enough. I couldn't write fast enough to get everything down before it left me! My hope, still, is that I got what was important, but if I did miss something, that one day it would come back to me. I keep saying you can't force a bright idea. It just sucks when you do have one and its gets away from you.
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